rookie

Good afternoon, coach. Sorry for the sudden change of face. I know how you'd always see me smiling, laughing, joking and just being bubbly inside the court during trainings. I know that you've always seen that rookie who would never stop being playful inside the court.

But today, just today, I began having this serious face each time I do not execute a drill or move properly. And probably because of that, you now see me as someone who has this 'low EQ', not needed. I remember how you'd cheer for me and call my nickname jokingly once in a while during the training this afternoon. And I remember how faint the smiles that I showed in return were. I'm sorry for that, coach, I'm sorry.

But I guess you should know, I wasn't all frustrated and heartbroken during the training for all the flaws that I brought out. Sure, mistakes and clumsiness could be a bit depressing, but this rookie is good enough to know that those shouldn't easily bring her down. That serious look and those faint smiles spoke out "I need to concentrate; stop playing around," didn't you notice? Coach, you should know that inside this rookie is a motivated and determined player, ready to win for the team. For without the effort and determination, why shall a player be called as one?

Coach, isn't it that you should know how hard I tried just to get in the team? And now I'm here, I wouldn't put your trust in me down. What is sacrificing a couple of smiles, jokes, and laughs for a better performance?

Yes, perhaps I wasn't able to do well today, but a day of loss should never be taken as the start of losing it all. There is tomorrow, and there is hope there. There is tomorrow, and so will be another day for me to show you that I am worthy of being a part of the varsity team.

And tomorrow, our jerseys will be given, that jersey that I have been waiting for, that jersey that will speak of us being a part of the team. And tomorrow, I wouldn't be paying for something that I do not need. Tomorrow, I shall not accept something that I do not deserve. Tomorrow, I shall get my jersey.

So keep your belief in me, coach, for in me is a rookie, a player. And a player never gives up.
-+reish.16aug05.

rain

ah.
so you're here again.
it's you, my happiness
it's you once more.
as others try to get away
as others throw their hatred at you
as others hate you more and more..
i start to smile.
your presence brings me hope
your presence brightens up everything
only you can wash away the pain
wash out all the evil in me
wash off every piece of sadness and torment
thank you, my happiness
for coming once more.

but as darkness falls
you start to fade
no, don't go..
i need you here,
right here.
if you'll fade, can i come along?
i'll never hurt you, i promise.
i know i can never do so
i'd be forever grateful to be with you.

oh why do people curse you?
oh why do they feel hatred in them?
they need you, too, can't they see?
don't go.
don't leave me..
but the sun rises, the sun sets.
leaves grow in spring, but then comes fall.
even youngsters grow old.
so i guess you really can't stay forever..
but when shall be your return?
when shall i be hidden from pain again?
when?

ah.
so you're here again.
it's you, my happiness
it's you once more.
you wash away the pain
you wash out all the evil in me
you wash off every piece of sadness and torment.
thank you happiness,
for coming once more.

we'll never be together for so long
but thank you for the hope.

someday,
you'll rain on me once more..

rain on me.
-+reish.12aug05.

keeda

just cant get enough of whats wrong
pleading..
begging..
trying damn hard to make an exception.
stupid.
no wrong can ever be right
and no right can ever be wrong
no excuses
not even this.
all that i am asking for..
this one exception
these hopes and pleas and beggings,
rejected.
hopes..
shattered.
my heart has always been broken.
-+reish.11aug05.